challenge me

Although New Years Eve was well over a week ago now, some advice that I received that night, a tip-off to a resolution maybe, has still remained fresh in my head. Long after the clock struck midnight, in a house where all clocks were set to stay at 11:59, a boyfriend-of-a-friend passed a little piece of counsel on to me, and I've been musing on it ever since.

I vaguely remember having a conversation about writing, and more specifically blogging, and career ambitions all around. It's a wonder that I am able to recount this exchange being that I was deep in an NYE induced coma, and preparing to say my goodbyes. As we shook hands (for the hundredth time it seems) he told me that in the New Year I should aim to do better, but not try harder.

Do better, but not try harder.

All week I have thought about this. At first it seemed to me like a paradox, you know, a contradiction (something that I vowed to avoid in 2009). I'm a very cause-and-effect kinda lady. I don't believe that anything just happens; I believe that things are made to happen. Fate is for suckers who can't handle the pressure of knowing that their life is, in fact, in their own hands.

Therefore, how can one do better without trying any harder?

But after a week to think it over, I finally have an inkling as to what he was talking about. I tried to try less. (Sounds easy. It isn't.) Maybe it's the effort that taints the work, the wardrobe, the conversation. Maybe it's just better to be au natural, and not to force things. Of all the things I said I was going to try to be in 2009 (a better writer, a better girlfriend, a better budgeter, a better problem-solver etc…) being more of myself might be the biggest challenge of all.