the oldies

It's recently come to my mother's attention that the yellowing desktop PC in the basement still contains all of our old files; our Microsoft paint creations, our old class projects and papers, and our high scores on Lemmings and Simms. All saved, accurately titled and meticulously archived (that was her doing, of course) and now available for her morbid, late-night amusement.

Last night, while excavating the deep, dark tomb that is the hard drive, she uncovered a real gem. It's my music request list, typed and numbered, and addressed to the DJ who was hired to play my Bat Mitzvah party.

It was to be a joint party had with my childhood bestie, Marli. It would be a coming-of-age extravaganza, not soon to be forgotten by the rest of my pubescent peers. I was going to Israel to become a woman in the eyes of hashem, and everyone else on the LITAL tour bus. But before I left, I would throw the ultimate sock-hop at the all-ages night club in Transcona.

Together, Marli and I composed and printed this letter to the music man:

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To the DJ,

This is Marli and Carli's song list for our party. These are just some of the songs we want to hear at our party. Try to cut down all Backstreet Boys, absolutely no S-Club 7, and hardly any slow songs and try to play all of these songs at least once.

1. CARTOON HEROS – BY “AQUA”
2. CAN I GET A… (EDITED VERSION) – BY “J-Z”
3. BAMBALAYO (IS THAT HOW YOU SPELL IT?) – BY “GYPSY KINGS”
4. MARIA MARIA – BY “SANTANA”
5. BAD TOUCH – BY "BLOODHOUND GANG"
6. MO MONEY MO PROBLEMS – BY “MASE”
7. BABY GOT BACK – BY “SIR-MIXALOT”
8. OOPS I DID IT AGAIN – BY “BRITNEY SPEARS”
9. AMERICAN PIE – BY “MADONNA”
10. WAITING FOR TONIGHT (REMIX) – BY "JENNIFER LOPEZ"
11. WHAT A GIRL WANTS (RADIO REMIX) – BY "CHRISTINA AGUILERA"
12. IF YOUR GETTING DOWN – BY “5IVE”
13. CONGA – BY “GLORIA ESTEPHAN”
14. BYE BYE BYE – BY “N*SYNC”
15. I’M 2 SEXY – BY "RIGHT SAID FRED"
16. THONG SONG – BY “SISQO”
17. THIS IS HOW WE DO IT – BY “MONTEL JORDAN”
18. BILLY JEAN – BY “MICHAEL JACKSON”
19. ABC – BY “JACKSON 5” 20. IN THE NAVY – BY “VILLAGE PEOPLE” (WE HAVE BOUGHT SAILOR HATS AND TOYS TO HAND OUT AT THIS TIME)
21. ARIBA – BY “JOEE”
22. MARIA – BY “RICKI MARTIN”
23. CREEP – BY “TLC”
24. LARGER THAN LIFE – BY “BACKSTREET BOY”
25. YOU’LL BE IN MY HEART – BY “PHIL COLLINS”
26. CRAZY (REMIX) – BY “BRITNEY SPEARS"

** PRIZES – HATS, NO INFLATABLE STUFF, GLOW NECKLACES, SHINY WIGS, MAYBE T-SHIRTS, RUB-ON TATTOOS, RING POP CANDY.

Thank you,

Marli & Carli, Bat Mitzvah Girls

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We didn't know much about run-on sentences or quotation marks, but we did know our music. As you can imagine, the party was a huge success. All of those shiny wigs we bought really won favour with the popular kids, and the Phil Collins song allowed for that girl from public school (you know, the one from your softball team that your mom made you invite to "diversify the guest list" and ensure your continued placement in post-game carpool...) to have her very first kiss.

Personally, I feel that this playlist is a good one. Perhaps I will resurrect it for the summer.
And, of course, the same rule will stand: Absolutely no S-Club 7