me, myself, and i.

Keeping busy has been the name of the game. And busy I've been (almost) keeping. Lately, the standard forces of 'busy' have abandoned me as the school year comes to a close, and packing to move is no longer on my list of things to do. My days have been a little bit freer, and just when I need distractions the most. Because of this, I've needed to realign my schedule, pull out all of the coloured pens and scribble colourful plans into all of the empty grey spaces that once were reserved for critical papers and phone calls.

Everyone always talks about girls needing 'me' time. But if you've ever met a 20-something with a vagina and 647 area code, you quickly come to learn that 'me' time is a redundancy. Nevertheless, these past few weeks have been about me, and me alone, and me – alone. By choice or not, I've had to start consciously putting myself first, taking time out, making myself happy, blah blah blah Oprah Winfrey. I got a pedicure. I bought new jeans. I've been to McDonald's (more times than I'll ever admit). I've been doing things because I want to, and not because I have to – but I'm quickly learning that 'me' time comes at a price.

Lunch for two: $20.00
Cab to Doctor: $8.45 + tip (It was pouring and my umbrella wont open, ok?)
Red Wine: $12.95
"You know, Sparkling White Wine": $8.50 (Nothing but the best for my woman.)
Studded leggings: $45.00
Subway: $2.75, or $3 if you don't want to wait for change, and I don't.
Drinks and Motown: $45.00
Cab West: $4.00
Cab East: $10.00
Petit Dejeuner: $15.00
Making some 'Me' Time: I'd say priceless, but that would be both lame, and untrue.

Actually, the truth is that 24 hours later, 'me' is banking a pretty serious fucking tab. I don't know how much longer I can afford to keep the meter running for 'me'. And sure, there are simpler pleasures without pricetags. Say, I could go for a walk with my iPod. But then I would probably need a coffee ($2.00), and when I sit and have my coffee, I'll probably need a magazine ($9.00), and if I'm going to read my magazine, I'm probably going to need a snack, and before you know it, I'm back at McDonalds, counting my change and eating my feelings.

But if the cost of keeping 'me' happy, by keeping 'myself' busy, means 'I' will have to work a few more shifts this week – c'est la vie. Because from now on, it's just you and me, 'me', so we're going to have to learn to get along.