fashion twin-famy

A long-time, yet recently wavering, subscriber to the MK & Ashley faction, I was really confident that The Row, the twins' upmarket fashion line, would astound. I was curious as to how they were going to blend bag-lady chic with semi-smutty-executive glamour. Since I read yesterday that the girls are looking to put out their first fashion book, I decided to finally get a glimpse of the line, and then I found my answer.

Apparently the girls attempted to discover a way to mesh manure with mature, and came up with, well, nothing.

The Row looks like what would happen if Joe Mimran stopped eating, started a strict daily regiment of Barbiturates, and decided to draft a side project.

The clothes aren't cheap, either. It costs a pretty penny to look pretty drab at the hands of Michelle Tanner.

The shocking part of it all is that the girls usually look so good. Granted Mary-Kate typically looks elegantly strung-out, but she works it. I truly thought they would be acme designers.

Every proven (or in this case) potentially good designer has buttressed on the side of error. For instance, the train wreck of a discounted "line" that Roberto Cavalli showcased at H&M this past fall, or how about the time that Hitler commissioned Hugo Boss to make the Nazi Gestapo uniform – and he did it.

The moral of the story is, and I speak mostly to Mary-Kate because I've never cared much for Ashley, pioneering the flaccid ascot look and a few spots on Weeds can only take you so far. I can look past your involvement with Heath's expiry – but those kimono sleeves are truly unforgivable.